Saturday, January 7, 2012

Oh No! They Cancelled Martha!

I have been watching a lot more TV than usual lately.  I join the family in the evenings to watch all kinds of "reality" shows.  I use that term loosely because it is sooo staged!  Mark hooks me up with the apparently "coolest" ones because I later find out "everybody" watches them.  He has always been a fan of the Discovery and History (Hitler) channels.  (I call it the Hitler channel because for years we have been fighting WWII with the same footage.  Every time I would walk into the living room, things would get gross and he swears it wasn't like that even a minute before!)

Though I like "American Pickers," "Pawn Stars," and "Auction Hunters," I consider myself a family team player to endure "Swamp Loggers," "Ice Road Truckers" and I think there is even a "Swamp Truckers" (Pardon, but I guess that is "American Loggers" which is more of a trucking show.)  Whatever.

However, the family flees like roaches when light hits them when I turn on my fast-dwindling number of craft shows.  I will now have one less because they just cancelled "The Martha Stewart Show."  Yes, she is a bit pretentious (OK, a lot) and has a huge staff to do the grunt work, but I really did learn a few things.  I know she is an ex-con, but she did her time and seems to have overcome the stigma with an impressive amount of grit.  She does have a soft side, especially with animals.  She isn't afraid to get her hands dirty.  She tells you the cheapest way to do things, unless she is pitching her product line LOL.

Now I will have an extra 40 minutes a day (I have a DVR) to actually do some of the projects or (Heaven forbid) cook!  Mark would be thrilled if I could churn out any of the stuff she does.  I have recipes and good intentions,  just not much on the follow through.  Most of it uses 8,000 ingredients that she may have on hand, but I sure don't unless it's salt and pepper.  Oops, out of salt today... must put on list!

I also learned from her a few gardening tips, but the only advice I have taken her up on is get stuff fresh at a farmer's market.  I get it fresh, help the community farmers, then let it rot on the produce shelf in the kitchen.  I tried baking squash and the family nearly rioted.  Instead of cooking our pumpkins and enjoying toasted pumpkin seeds, I let Mark and Taylor use them for target practice with an AR-15.  Last year, that technique brought be many Jack-Be-Little pumpkins that volunteer seeded in the wood pile:)  I need to get them to shoot me some other veggies and flowers so I don't have to plant a garden!

There is some solace in knowing that she will finish this season on the the Hallmark channel (which was likely part of her problem--it's not one of the hottest channels on cable.)  She also has a huge website with most of the details of her projects and recipes on marthastewart.com.  But I have a feeling I will never get around to doing many of them.  I think I watched the show more as a fantasy than a life skills class.  But I did enjoy it and am sorry to see it go the way of the Carol Duvall Show on HGTV that I loved.

Well, off to do some actual chores and enjoy one of the few sunny days here in the Buckeye State.

Have a great weekend!
Gale

P.S.  Below is a recipe from her show that I have actually done that is quick, easy and pretty good.


Sunday, January 1, 2012

Gale's Gallery: Art Anyone Can Create II

"Confetti Naturescapes"

I know, I know, I call this a humor blog, but it's really a lifestyle blog that sometimes happens to be funny.  So, for my crafty friends, I want to share another installment of Gale's Gallery:)

Last Fall, which seems like a long time ago, I attended a class on Confetti Naturescapes at Quilttrends in Columbus, OH.  This quilt shop is more "cutting edge" (hmmm, one could probably say that about all quilt shops LOL.)  What I mean is they do more "artsy" mixed media projects than anyone I know.  I really do admire those folks who slave away cutting and measuring their "Flying Geese" or "Mariner's Compass" etc., traditional styles with perfect matching points, but I suck at precision and gave up before even taking geometry in high school.  But, I love the color and texture of fabric and art quilts give me the chance to play.  You just wouldn't want to sleep under anything I make and/or wash it!  

The photo below is my first try at the confetti naturescape technique.  (I don't know why the bottom looks warped because hanging on the wall it is way more square.)  Oh well.  The technique was on HGTV's "Simply Quilts" around 10 years ago and I've been wanting to try it ever since.  






In case you can't make it out;  it's a stream going under a covered bridge in front of a woods and near the top of a hill with Bambi getting a drink:)  It's supposed to look like the light is coming from the right, but it's difficult to see (and do!)

Not everybody does landscapes.  There was a great one someone did of their horse.  Boy, it would be scary to do that and get the expression right!  This wall hanging is 18 x 18 inches and was quick compared to most of my projects.

The technique is old an old layering one, but the twist is in the details.  Noriko Endo wrote "Confetti Naturescapes" (Dragon Threads Publishing) which is available online or in quilt shops.  It is very detailed on most of the artistic ideas, but to me a little limited on the actual technique.  

Basically, you layer a background fabric and a square of batting on top.  Then, you layer from back to front slivers of fabric you "paint" with.  Then you lay a piece of black tulle on top and just stitch down with smoke thread while trying to catch as many of the tiny slivers as you can in your stitches.  Then you lay down another light layer of slivers to do any final detail and you add stuff like I did the deer.  Plop down another layer of tulle and then get out all of those cool threads that you can never use on anything.  Sew away with no rules.  (Those are my kind of rules...)

Then all you do is fold up your binding and you can be done, but of course, I'm never done.  I did a little this 'n that with fabric paints to try to add highlights with moderate success.  Next time, I hope to be a little better.  There really isn't an excuse for not trying this as you can use leftovers for about everything.  I am here to help, or better yet, take a class.  Please send me photos of your projects, okay???

Until next time, 

Gale