Saturday, May 5, 2012

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes...

Hello everyone!

I have been soooo busy working that I haven't had time to write a new post, so here is another oldie, but I hope goodie article written several years ago.  I thought it would be appropriate to share this week in honor of the upcoming Mother's Day...Enjoy!  Don't forget to enter "Dash for the Stash!" drawing May 1st, 2015.!

My son Taylor taken while riding the Viking ride at Busch Gardens about 5 years ago.

Capturing Your Children’s Words Will Give You A Lifetime of Laughs!
Kids say the “darned-est” things!  I should have recorded some of the funny things my children said in their “baby” years.  Like most parents, I was just too busy and really thought I would remember the “big ones.”  I don’t.  I highly recommend taking the time.  It’s never too late.  I started jotting down "Taylor-isms" when my son was six and have lots of fun material to use in scrapbooks, conversation and my future grandchildren’s enjoyment.  (I promised myself I wouldn’t embarrass him in front of his friends with it.  Hope I can keep that promise!)

Taylor is an out-of-the-box thinker.   He’s very innovative and smart, preferring to draw schematics and build motorcycles, rockets or cardboard houses than doing schoolwork (or cleaning his room.)   His pre-school teacher described him as a child with a “unique perspective.”  His Kindergarten teacher called him “the coolest kid I’ve ever met.”  Cool, maybe, but hard to keep in the real world. 
Taylor’s language skills didn’t develop quickly.  He let everyone else finish his sentences until recently.

So, he often made up words or descriptions that only he can conjure.  Here are some of my favorites:

Windshield wipers =  “Swishy swashers”
Meatballs =            “Beef balls”
Spatula =            “Splatula”
Eagle =            “the America bird”
Wizard of Oz’s Tin Man = “Metal Man”
Eraser =             “re-raser”            (pronounced re-racer)
Remember =            “renimber”           
Fly Swatter=            “fly-splatter”
Before = “later ago”
Electrocuted = “lightning-acuted”
Coupons= “free tickets to buy money”
Elastic waistband= “bungie”
Paying forward= “catch ahead”
Window shades= “window blades”
Captain Underpants= “Super Underwear Guy”
After his dad looked up a phone number, he gave Taylor the phonebook to put away.  Taylor asked, “Are you numberized now?”
When asking for more pizza he said, “Can I have a little more bit?”
Once when he was carrying something heavy he said, “I think I’ve got a hand load!”
He was going crazy one day and I asked why.  “Mom, I have to build something right now!  I have too many ideas and I need to empty out my brain!”
When I asked him what outfit to wear he said, “Blue would be more fashioner.  It would match out your pants.”
While showing me around at the top of a playground castle he said, “It’s the top, but not the least!”
After watching Donald Duck one day, Taylor was puzzled.  “Why did Donald brush his peck (beak)?  He has no teeth!”
When asked to try something new he said, “Let’s do it the always way we have.”
            I was calling him into the house when he replied, “I’m on my way to back!”  (meaning: I’m coming)
I was having a lot of trouble getting him ready for school one morning.  I asked him what was taking so long.  He said, “My feet go slow at the starting of the day.”
He’s outgrowing his clothes quickly.  But instead of telling me his underwear was too small he said, “Mom, my underwears (sic) have sharp edges.”  (meaning: the elastic was cutting in)
One morning I went into wake him and he had no covers or pillow.  He said, “They must have sloshed off.”
While shopping for a new toothbrush, Taylor was allowed to choose his own.  After he did so, I asked him why he picked it.  He said, “Because it was more color-ie.”
He was tired one morning, but I had to get him ready for the sitter’s.  In an effort to speed him up, I told him he could go back to sleep there.  He said, “It’s not much comfy there.”
After a grueling trip Taylor was too tired to get out of the truck and go into the hotel.  I told him he was too big to carry, but I would hold his hand.    He replied, “ But mom, I don’t walk with my hands!”
We passed a dead groundhog and a raccoon apparently hit on the road one winter afternoon.  Taylor explained they died because “they didn’t get hibernation.”
We were driving by some woods in October and discussing what happens in autumn.  Taylor said it looked “like a rainbow in trees!”  He sees beauty in everything.  He was drawing and grabbed a handful of colored pencils.  He said, “Isn’t this pretty?  Like a bouquet of pencils!”
            He has a very thoughtful side.  As we were nearing the airport to drop off his dad for a business trip Taylor asked, “Is this the airport?  This is where I’ll start missing you.”  On the way home he asked me if I was older than dad and I said I was.  He asked, “Then why aren’t you taller than him?”
I was reading Taylor’s math homework questions to him.  One activity was to write down some tally marks, count them, and then tell someone how many you made.  He looked puzzled for a moment, and then the light came on and he said, “Hey, wait a minute.  You’re someone!” 
We have electric fence lining our backyard to keep my husband’s dogs from escaping.  I was getting ready to turn it off for the kids when Taylor admitted he’d already touched it.  He said, “But it didn’t really hurt.  It just made me feel a little wiggly.”  Once  his leg feel asleep it said it was “static.”
I was having one of those awful diet shakes for breakfast one day when Taylor asked about it.  I told him I was drinking it so I would get skinny.  He replied, “Well you aren’t too skinny yet.”  Then he asked to taste it.  I told him to only take a small sip and he complied because he only wanted to “get a little bit skinny.”  The next time I opened the fridge he asked, “Mom, are you going to drink another one to get skinny faster?”
One day last fall my husband had been in the bathroom in our front hall.  He politely left the fan on and sprayed some evergreen air freshener upon his exit.  A little while later Taylor came home from school.  He walked through the front hall and yelled “Hey mom!  What’s that smell?”  Before I could say anything, he said, “It smells like Christmas!”  That would not have been my first thought!
He turned down a snack one afternoon because “Eating time really stuffed me up!”  I also know not to serve him gravy “toppling over his biscuits.”
School was cancelled one winter day and he said “Why?  Because the snow drowned us?”
Sometimes Taylor points out truths I’ve ignored.  “Hey Mom,” he said, “usually when you say ‘in a little bit’ it really means a very long time!”
Taylor made a Mother’s Day card with a drawing of me knitting.  He wrote adjectives of me around it.  One was “createful.” 
He was trying to explain himself for not doing his chores.  He said “doesn’t it ever recur to you…” 
Like most children, he has always wanted to go to New York City, especially to go to FAO Schwartz.  He asked me, “Is that a five layer store?”  (Meaning:  A five story tall building.)
One night he came in to our room and gently tapped me awake.  “Mom, my throat stops at my neck!”  Of course he was trying to say his throat was swollen and sore.  
We all thought that he would grow out of this, but now he is 16 and still cracks us up with the occasional Taylor-ism.  He doesn't even realize he's saying something unique.  We do though!
Here's wishing all moms out there a very Happy Mother's Day!!!

Until next time,
PS:  Here are another couple witty Taylor comments he has made recently.  At the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame a sidewalk vendor was selling "ice cold water."  Taylor said there was no such thing.  If it was that cold, it would be ice!
Audra left out some roast pork overnight and although I knew I would have to throw this rather large piece of meat, I said "Boy, I wish there was some household test available this to see if it was really bad.  Taylor said, "There is.  It's called a dog."  (Now we would NEVER hurt our dogs, but it was funny!)


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