Saturday, April 27, 2013

"Stupid Is Fah-ev-ahhh"

If you are reading my blog, you are no doubt a smart person!  You probably can tell I struggle with sarcasm, but generally I try to be nice.  I have been known to do a dumb thing or two, but in this especially bad last couple weeks, I have seen or heard some things that beg to be told.

If Ron White or Bill Engvall worked retail for a couple of days they would have enough new material to go on tour again.  Bill would run out of signs the first day.

I had a particularly nasty man in my department with his wife looking at dishwashers.  She wanted me to point out features and differences among brands, yadda yadda and since their daughters were running wild through the appliances I pointed out the ones with the controls on the top edge if the door.  These "hidden" buttons are less tempting for children.  The man said "I don't want no dishwasher that I have to open the door to turn on."

That's not the end of it for dishwashers either.  I had a customer complain that I sold her a "left-handed" one and she was right-handed.  Didn't even know how to respond to that.  But fortunately, I was able to "talk her down off the roof" and show her how to load the dishwasher.

Now I don't have a "poker face," but I have managed to learn a "politely-puzzled blank-ish stare."  I go on to explain to his wife (politely, of course) that the door would be open anyway putting in the dishes/soap and you just hit start before you close it...  He yelled at me saying (In a "don't get smart with me attitude") "I told you I don't want that so why are you still talking about it?  I'm the customer and I will tell you what I want!"  (Proving you can't fix stupid because they want to be that way.)  His wife told me quietly that she would like having the controls on top---but obviously the dishwasher is the only thing she would have control over....maybe...

What is really sad is this isn't the first incident about the "hidden controls."  At least three other times folks have commented that their fingers simply wouldn't fit between the door top and the counter top...  Bill---"Where's their sign?"

"Stupid is as stupid does." --Forrest Gump's Mom

For the purpose of this post I will include "tacky" in the stupid category as that trait often pops up in the  same scenario...

A guy was wandering around the department and I asked if I could help him.  He said, "The wife needs a stove and says she wants stainless steel.  Hell, I ain't paying those prices!  Just get me that white one and tell me where the appliance paint is."  Me-"Well we do have black, white and bisque touch up paint right over here...."  Him- "No!  I mean appliance spray paint!  I'm just gonna get me some silver paint and nobody will ever know it's not stainless.  There was no way I was selling him paint, but you have to go through that department to get to the checkouts, so off he went.

Another guy told me he was looking for a glass cook top.  No problem.  Then he said he also wanted gas.  Still no problem, I took him to the glass, gas cook tops.  He said "I mean just glass and gas with no grates...where are those????  I just want the fire to come up through the glass. "  Whatever.

One of our counter top sales folks had a gal who was tired of her laminate kitchen counter top edge snagging her sweaters.  She asked what he had that would match her purple cabinets.  She didn't like the price of the wood veneer iron on strips and told him "forget it, I think I'll just go get some duct tape."

Also for the purposes of this post I will include "clueless" though there are folks that aren't stupid that are this...

For instance, my delivery drivers are NOT movers.  We provide free delivery and haul away of appliances, period.  Yesterday, a guy said "Since your guys will be delivering my washer and dryer and  offer to take away the old, I would like you to take them to my cousin's house for me.  It's just down the road.  It took me a long time to get him to understand this wasn't going to happen!

Then there was the lady last week who upon finding out we haul away proceeded to tell me about the dryer in her yard that needed to leave.  OK, whatever.  But then she said something to her sister that I overheard about what would they do with the tree?  I looked over and said "What tree?"  My guys only take an appliance that is sitting ready to go.  They are not going to dig one out of your yard."  She said, "Oh, okay, well, then I'll get someone to do that."  When the guys got there, the dryer was packed full of barbed wire fence, but not in the yard with a tree growing through it.  Whatever.  But then, after delivering her freezer, she proceeds to ask them to carry in a range from the garage that she didn't get from us and hook it up... Really?

These are just the stories I remember right now.  I am sure there will be more.  You might want to visit the post from November "There Should Be A Be Kind To Salesperson Week!"  You will find the link in the index.

Until next time,

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