Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Me As Eve On A Night Out With The Girls!

I told you you'll never know what you're gonna get when you stop by!  This is the story and text of a speech I gave as Eve at a church women's retreat probably 10 years ago.  A few of us were asked to portray women of the Bible and I thought she might be fun... take a look see!  Unfortunately for you, but fortunately for me, photos aren't readily available.  Darn...

Awhile back I was asked to portray Eve as one of several “celebrity guest speakers” at a lady’s retreat.  I was just one of the famous ladies of the Bible who stopped in that evening, but apparently “Eve” made quite an impression because the women still are talking about it (for better or worse!)   I thought I would share my presentation (I wrote it myself!)  If your church is looking for something to do for a special service, program or retreat, try something like this.  (Of course, you could include men!)  It is fun and a great way to present a memorable story for all ages and groups!
Here is how this went—but feel free to adapt!
The Scene:  Lady’s Retreat at a hotel ballroom. 
Costume: A black fake fur “cavewoman” cloak/no shoes/long, stringy wig (quite haute couture!)
Action: Enter ballroom, work the room tossing out chocolate candy.  Tell them not to eat it!  (You know how we girls feel about chocolate!) Make way to the podium. 
The Speech:
“Good Evening!  I’m Eve, Adam’s wife. Really.  Okay, I look like a cross between Cher and Wilma Flintstone!  I am certainly as “snug as a bug in a rug.”  Boy am I hot!  By the way, the first person to laugh at this get-up has to wear it in public!  In case you didn’t know, Eve means “life.”  Adam named me this because I am the mother of all living.  Now listen to your mama and what I have to say!”

“Unlike the other women you are about to meet, I am more famous for my weaknesses than my wonderful deeds.  I am sorry for tasting the forbidden fruit from the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  I am now flawed like you are---and I am sure you do not appreciate your inheritances from me!  (One curse you did not get from me is high heels---See?  (Show bare feet.)  It’s true that you can learn from your mistakes!  Think of a time when you were weak and made a mistake.  You regret it, but most of the time you can’t change it.” 

“My husband, Adam, which means man, taught me all he knew.  I learned the names of the animals, flowers, fish, and trees—all of creation that he learned from God.  He also told me the “rules,” but I guess I didn’t pay as much attention to them as I should have.  I avoided that tree for quite awhile, keeping busy with Adam and our daily walks in the garden where God joined us.  We could feel Him and hear Him, but not see Him.  Perhaps if I had seen Him I would have realized how omnipotent He was.  I guess I needed something more tangible to realize His power.  Sort of like when someone tells you if you hit your hand with a hammer it is going to hurt, but you do it anyway just to test it out.” 

“I remember how wonderful life was before the fruit.  God delighted in hearing how we spent our days.  Everything was perfect.  We didn’t have anything to worry about…especially what to wear because we didn’t wear anything!  Talk about “wash ‘n wear!” 

“Then one day a very intriguing creature appeared.  A beautiful serpent creature, soft-spoken and nice!  He asked about the forbidden fruit…it started innocently at first, and then he began playing on words and my mind spun.  I became more curious about knowledge of good and evil.  He convinced me to eat the fruit (and it really wasn’t an apple—you know how stories get changed as they are passed down.)  What’s even worse as I convinced Adam to eat it too!  He, of course, told on me when God confronted us.  What a guy!”

“Well the rest is history.  We began to bear the heaviest weight anyone could experience—separation from God.  That is a weight even Jenny Craig can’t cure!  We were evicted from the perfect life and our perfect health and perfect bodies began to decay.  We worked and worked just to survive.

We started having “not-so-perfect” children with a not so wonderful labor and delivery to go with them.    I had many children, but you probably remember Cain and Abel the best.  Talk about sibling rivalry!  It is rumored that Cain and Abel are twins, but that is my little secret.  I dreamed of them growing up as friends and helping each other.  But that was not to be.  I miss Abel so much!  He was a good man.  To think he was killed by his own brother!  I am also sad for Cain and because he basically “died” at the same time.  His life was ruined too.  Where did I go wrong? 

Well, perhaps I could have done nothing to change things.  It’s too late now.  I was delighted when my next son, Seth came along and brought us great joy.  His son, Enos, was the first official minister leading many in worshipping God.

We have paid the price for not obeying God and people are still paying.  We had everything that we could ever need.  But like a spoiled child, I wanted something I couldn’t have.  They say idle hands are the devil’s workshop!  Keep busy in your service to the Lord and others.  Be obedient to God in all things… and learn from my mistakes.  Oh, by the way, you may eat your candy now.  Are you glad you resisted the temptation?  Don’t forget to brush your teeth!  (Exit, trying to avoid running into more conservatively dressed folks in the hotel lobby!)

Until next time, count your blessings!

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